Does god exist ?

This is one of the older and common-er issues, nevertheless an interesting one. So let me set the ball rolling. I am not here to ask anyone to change their beliefs. I would feel happy if we could all share our thoughts in a calm non-judgemental debate.

I do not believe that god exists. Now why do I say that ? Two points ;

1. First, for the purpose of this discussion, we should precisely define god. For anything/ anyone to qualify as god, there are a few conditions that must be met
a. Must be all knowing and ever present
b. Must be all powerful
c. Must be beneficial to mankind / other forms of life.

I hope most of us are agreed on this definition.

2. So if god exists and satisfies the conditions above, why do we see millions of people killed in natural disasters ? Genocides ? Could it be that he is not all powerful and could not stop the disasters..? Well then he cannot be acclaimed god. Could it be that he COULD stop but chooses not to. Then again he cannot be acclaimed god (point c above). Some believer friends of mine have told me that there is a larger meaning to creation and god that we cannot comprehend. And that the deaths of innocents are a part of this larger scheme (shades of the Bhagvad Geeta). So god chooses to "observe" in silence the deaths of innocents, for he has a design in it that we humans do not understand.

To my rather simple mind, it looks like if god cant prevent anything bad from happening, and if he is not all powerful and beneficial, why do we need him at all? It’s like the story of frogs and King Log/ King Stork.

And finally...in the newspaper some months ago, I read this little news item. A 10 year old mentally retarded girl was raped by three men, somewhere in North india. Now I do hope that my believer friends are not going to tell me that this too is a part of the grand design of god (which we humans don’t understand).

To sum up this little train of thought, I believe that god does not exist chiefly because there is no evidence that he ever does anything that should cause people to believe in him in the first place. I think compared to god, George Bush may be a better choice, instead.

More on this in a future piece,

How not to be horni in Bangalore

Please forgive me for using the “h” word, but I couldn’t get the right one. Horn_i here means a driver who frequently uses the vehicle horn, mostly without any positive or useful effect. This having been clarified, henceforth the word will be spelt “horni”.

A fictional study conducted by a reputed automobile association has come up with some rather startling facts. It seems that in Bangalore, yellow-plate passenger vehicles (cabs, sumos/ qualis, mini-buses etc) on an average give a 16 percent higher mileage than other vehicles. And if it is used for call –centres / BPO companies, the figure goes further up to 18 percent. When I read this report, the engineer in me was intrigued. S

So what is going on? How does one improve fuel efficiency? Well the bad news is that you can’t get higher mileage just by changing the colour of the number plate to yellow. You have to be seriously horni to get there. Here is how it works. As a result of continuous horni_ing, an envelope of charged particles is created around the front of the vehicle. This is a low-pressure area. So the air from the rear of the vehicle pushes the vehicle forward. Of course by this time the driver has created a further envelope in the front. This natural-assist is what reduces fuel-consumption. All of this of course requires skill.

And just how horni can you get? There are a number of places you can go to learn the art and science of being horni. Mostly these are places that are run as offshoots of driving schools. We met up with one of the people running a school. He was one Mr. Honkerappa from Assholenarsipur Horni Driving School. He said that to really do a good job at being horni, you have to take at least 40 hours of instruction. He did however offer some tips. Here they are

· Well, the driver must know precisely when to be horni. Some recommended situations are: at traffic lights when there is no space for any other vehicle to move an inch forward or to the side; · For added saving, being horni a split second after the traffic signal changes from red to green is highly recommended. Never mind the fact that you are sixth in line and it will be a full minute before the other vehicles in front of you move. Just be horni and see the performance go up.
· You must also recognize when someone else is being horni and hogging all the action. Never allow the vehicle in front of you to have an empty space in front of his vehicle. For the natural-assist to work, the space in front of YOUR vehicle must be empty. So be horni with all your might.

We also asked him if there was any special equipment or car accessory that was recommended. He suggested model PITA from M/s Balasubramanian Horn Company of Coimbatore. It’s a huge hit already with all call centre vehicles in Bangalore. You cant miss its strident / rude sound on Bangalore roads. It endows the driver with a rudeness quotient far beyond his biological limits. And its been proven to improve horniness. Interestingly, the advertising tagline of the company is “You can’t be seriously horni if you don’t have Bals”

Finally, are there any side effects or can one be horni all the time? Well occasionally you may come across a driver who takes offence at the rudeness. He may actually gun you down. It has been reported in the US of A. Then of course you can’t be horni around hospitals and schools. In my own case, I have a special sound–activated switch in my car. If someone is being too horni, the switch kicks in and my car remains stalled in front of the horne?y driver for 5 minutes. By which time he has lost it.

Recommended Reading:
· Medico Legal Issues in Horni Driving by Mr. Balasubramanian, Coimbatore.
· First Aid on the Road published by Bangalore Call centre Drivers’ Association
· If you are Horni, don’t do it from the backseat… Anonymous

Good Reading

Here is a partial list of books and authors that I have enjoyed reading, many of them in the recent past..

o The Mahabharata
o My Experiments with the Truth M K Gandhi. Written in simple 19th century English English. Good insight into the mind of the Mahatma.
o Animal Farm George Orwell. Political concepts simply and brilliantly presented.
o 1984 Aldous Huxley. It was once thought that the world would be as described in this book. That has not happened, but a good book.
o Andha Yug (hindi) Dharam Veer Bharati. The aftermath of the battle of Kurukshetra (from Mahabharat) presented from the loser’s side. o The Importance of Living Lin Yutang. Very entertaining, very different.
o Up at the Villa Somerset Maugham. Short novel (novella) showing the variety in human nature and personalities. Maugham at his succinct best.
o Short Stories by O Henry, Maugham, Guy Maupassant, Roald Dahl, Frederick Forsyth, Jeffery Archer. Sort stories are a special favourite of mine. I think it is the most difficult literary form. This is just a top-of-the-mind list.
o Katha Short stories series. Stories originally written in Indian regional languages, well translated.
o The Naked Ape. Desmond Morris. Mind expanding. Anthropology applied to the modern city dweller.
o The Argumentative Indian Amartya Sen. Gives a new perspective to Indian history and culture.
o Any collection on Indian Mythology and Greek Mythology. o Foundation series Isaac Asimov. Mind Expanding.
o Lord of the Rings JRR Tolkien
o PG Wodehouse
o Art Buchwald. Great humour in short articles. o The Fountain Head Ayn Rand. The easiest to read of her works and a good story.
o Many Lives Many Masters Dr Brian Weiss. Mind expanding , about re-incarnation.
o Your Erroneous Zones Wayne Dyer. Self help book about freeing yourself.
o Illusions Richard Bach. This is the same guy who wrote Jonathan Livingstone Seagull.
o Love Story Eric Segal. A cult book in its time. Good read.
o Merchant of Venice Shakespeare
o Greek Tragedy: Oedipus Rex by Sophocles. This is a series of dramas written more than 2000 years back. In parts has the twists of a bollywood film.
o Greek Comedy : Lysistra by Aristophanes
o Dolls House, Enemy of the people and other plays Henrik Ibsen. Very good plays, simply written. Set in 19th century Europe, but still relevant.
o History of India Romila Thapar/ Percival Spear
o A Brief History of Everything Bill Bryson o James Herriot..writer on Animals
o Poems by Iqbal, Sahir Ludhianvi, Firaq gorakhpuri, kaifi Azmi.
o Madhushala (hindi) Harivansh Rai Bachan

What EXACTLY is money ?

We have all heard this countless times, “Money is not everything”. All right so it is not everything. But it is definitely something. Unfortunately we don’t adequately understand what it is. And this incomplete understanding often comes in the way of making Money and enjoying it.

So what IS Money then? Well, here is one viewpoint.

To begin with, it’s a medium of exchange. When we say that apples cost 60 rupees a kilo and oranges 30, it means that apples are twice as expensive as oranges. Money offers a facility to compare the value of various goods and services. Or if you get paid 10,000/ - rupees a month for working, that is the exchange value for your labour. So far so good. But then what is a rupee? And why should apples be 60 and not 120 (or 10) rupees a kilo? Who decides the price? Now this is a more complex situation.

To say that price is determined by the demand-supply situation is only a part of the answer. The remaining part is that Money also represents a store of value. So we can say that ,at a time and a place, (say today in bangalore) apples have twice as much value as oranges. In other words, at a certain point of time and in a certain place, human society perceives twice as much value in apples as in oranges. The relationship between apples and oranges may be different in another place, say kashmir, where apples will be cheaper than oranges.And the important phrase is the perception of value by society. For in the end, Money represents the perceived value of human effort. This effort can be in terms of manual labour of the person digging holes, or mental labour of the programmer writing code or the acting ability/ effort of a film star.

Some other, not so common, examples of Money representing the perceived value of human effort are

· The value of an artist’s work. Now while you may not like MF Husains style, remember it is the “perceived” value.
· The value of an idea or brand (think of Bill Gates) · High salaries of business managers. Their effort is to manage companies.
· Stock market gains are value for risk-taking effort.
· A car priced 5 lacs represents one year’s salary for someone.

So now, coming back to the apples, if I get paid 60 rupees an hour, I am exchanging one hour of my labour for the apples. Or, to put it another way, when someone steals your Money, or cheats you, what the thief is actually stealing is your effort. If I am paid 10,000/ per month and a thief steals that amount from me, it means that he tricked me into working as a bonded labourer for him for a month.

Money (and wealth) therefore are an indication of the contribution one makes to society. I am talking legal money making here. So that’s what Money is. Now would you like to make a small contribution to society or a big one?

So what are you reading these days ?

I am often asked this question. Now, depending on the season, the cycle of the moon, the state of the economy and a few other reasons. I might not even be reading at all. Sometimes for six months I don’t touch anything more serious than the classifieds that come on Sunday. So I politely reply that I am not reading anything these days. This usually results in a horrified “I-always-thought-he-was-wrong-in-the-head” and “surely-he-is-reaching-senility” look from the questioner. At such moments I cannot help wondering why is it that most educated people (specially the “convented” people, of which I too am one) feel that they are committing a grave crime against themselves if they are not reading anything (these days !).

The fact is as time goes by, I find fewer and fewer books that look interesting enough to read. I now don’t read ANY American fiction. In fact I almost don’t read fiction at all now. I avoid for at least a couple of years all books that win the Booker prize or are hyped about in the media. (I haven’t read God of Small Things: Arundhati Roy, eat your heart out.) And this, after I have in my mis-spent youth, gone through library shelves full of James Hadley Chase, Ian Fleming/ Bond, Ludlum, Alistair MacLean, Sheldon, and you-name-it.

In fact if I had my life all over again, I would never ever read them. Unfortunately we never had the Internet in those days. So one ended up reading trash, without researching or recommendations. I even read Khushwant Singh !! can you beat that for reading trash?

Dustbins and god

What’s common between dustbins and god? You may well ask, what kind of a silly question is that? It indeed is. But all the same it occurred to me one day when I was at work and had come out for a smoke.

Well I work for an IT company, and in keeping with current trends they have eliminated smoking inside the office. I fully endorse this practice. (Now only if the smokers could be eliminated). So they have smoking corners, only sometimes they are not really corners. Smoking spots, lets say. My office has a large open space (a plaza) and that’s where the smoking spots are. There are a few dustbins scattered around. But I notice that the smokers ALMOST NEVER use them to deposit the cigarette butts. The butts are strewn generously everywhere else. Almost as if smokers took special effort to NOT use the dustbins. Now are we smokers such a perverted and irrational lot ? Knowing IT people I am tempted to say yes, they are. But that’s another story.

The point here is that all the dustbins are placed in locations that have a very strong breeze, are exposed to sun and rain and have no place nearby to sit. So I mentioned these things to the Admin people. Why not shift the dustbins closer to where people smoke? Well, I was told they had done it before and one dustbin (or its contents) caught fire. As they say, no smoke-ing without fire.

Now a few lines about the dustbins themselves. There are two types. One is the steel thing in a rectangular shape. The top has a tray with sand/ pebbles to stub out cigarettes and the lower half can be used for dumping used coffee-cups and such things. This is a very American design. The other type is made of plastic/ fibre glass and usually in the shape of an animal cartoon character. Ducks, squirrels, penguins, monkeys, fish. I am sue you must have seen them in public places. This is a wholly Indian innovation. I think they first started appearing some 25 years ago and quickly became an irreversible and abominable part of the urban landscape In India. Look at one closely and you will realize why.

The cartoon animals have the most pained looking expressions. In some cases the animal figure is holding up the dustbin. The way it is positioned, pointing upwards, is too indelicate for me to even mention here.(Hint : its phallic) With the monkey, fish and the penguin the garbage has to be disposed into the mouth of the figure. So much for respect for wildlife. Finally, can we make a guess about a people/ culture by looking at their trash bins and the trash itself ? Well can YOU ? (more on this in a separate piece)

So where does god come in? Dustbins are like god. Useful and ubiquitous, but largely misplaced and neglected.

Meditation Made simple

The MOST important thing to remember is that meditation is NOT some secret, exotic or esoteric knowledge/ technique … one does not have to go to the Himalayas or to California to learn it. It is also useful to know that the meditative state (or trance) signifies a specific level of neuro-cereberal activity. It is called the “alpha” state, and it has been established by western research that the alpha stage is deeply relaxing. Every day when we sleep, we pass through this alpha state involuntarily. In meditation we try and achieve this pro-actively. The normal wakeful state is called the “beta stage”.

The practice of meditation is a series of ordered steps to bring the mind to the alpha state. Electronic devices are available (search the internet and you will find dozens) which can (or at least claim to) produce the same effect, ie, put the mind in an alpha state. Sometimes these products are advertised as bio-feedback products.

Pre-requisites

· At least 2 to 3 hours after waking up. The purpose of meditation is to refresh the mind. The mind should be at least a little tired. It won’t work if the mind is already fresh. · If you walk/exercise in the mornings, meditate AFTER the walk. Similarly Pranayama should be practiced BEFORE meditation. The correct sequence is physical exercise, breathing exercise/ pranyayama and then meditation, ie from the physical to the spiritual.

· Other good times: Just before lunch, in the evening after the work-day is over. · At least an hour after a meal, or on an empty stomach. Tea/ coffee allowed. The setting · In a quiet, darkened room.

· No mobile/ landline phones please.

· Free of mosquitoes and insects.

· Make sure you are not disturbed for 30 minutes. Be dead to the world.

· Loose, comfortable clothing.

*.Sit on the floor on a mat or durrie/ blanket, legs stretched out, small of the back supported against a wall. Hands folded and on your lap. Palms open, right palm over the left. · Head held up, relaxed.

· If its hot/ warm, use the fan or AC. · Don’t have/ schedule an “appointment” or an activity at the end of the session… you will keep thinking of the deadline.

· A typical session should not be more than 30 minutes. But there is no need to use an alarm clock.

The Steps

1. Sit in a quiet darkened room, on the floor as mentioned above. Become as comfortable as possible, so that you don’t have to fidget later.

2. Close eyes and let the mind become calm. Let the breathing be natural. Do not deep breathe. Don’t actively think of anything but DO NOT suppress any thoughts that come..just let them flow.

3. Observe the thoughts themselves in a detached way. Thoughts connected and un-connected will flow through the mind. After a few minutes (upto 10 minutes in the beginning), the thoughts will automatically cease. If some train of thought goes for a long time, repeat your favourite mantra and detach yourself from that thought.( See “Some Aids” below).

4. Sometimes you will realize that you are chasing some particular thought too long. Just do nothing. The mere realization is enough. You will automatically change from chasing to observing.

5. After a few minutes breathing will become very shallow, shoulders will droop and so too the head/ neck.

6. If you feel you are drifting off to sleep, repeat to yourself “aummm..” or any other mantra (I use the English word “One” sometimes) lift your head up, square the shoulders, and get back to business. 7. If nothing happens after 30 minutes of trying, don’t worry. It will happen in the next attempt or in the next few attempts. Don’t tell yourself ‘I must meditate” Some aids: · Count backwards.. Start at 100… when you reach zero.. start all over again. All through this thoughts may continue.. just observe. Counting back engages the mind and thus keeps other thoughts away. · Music: A number of cassettes are available, and they work. I have tried Ganga Chants (Times music), Sacred Chants of the Buddha (Times Music). Any soft flowing music. Volume not too loud. Preferably with ear-phones. · Observe your breath.. See how it comes out of the nostrils when you exhale, how you inhale. The purpose of all these “aids” is to stop the mind from chasing thoughts. In other systems people think of a flame, concentrate on the fore-head, chant a mantra. All of them are good also and effective methods.

How do you know you are there? One or more of the following experiences · Numbness in arms and hands, palms, sole of the feet, back of upper-arms. · Numbness in cheeks · The mind “floats”, zings. · There is a sensation that the body is floating upwards. Sometimes that the body is sinking. · You are only vaguely aware of the room and surroundings. This is the meditative trance. Each “trance” may last up to five minutes. Then you are back to normal and become aware of the room / surroundings. If you keep still and follow the “observing thoughts” scheme, you get back into a trance. For beginners three such trances may be the maximum. After a time, you will be very alert and you will instinctively know that the session is over. Keep still, eyes closed. Gradually increase the depth of breathing. Lift the head up. Move arms / shoulders and rub them to restore circulation. Rub your face with palms and slowly open eyes.

The Great Sexs ratio debacle

This piece is from my experience on another site.This afternoon I used the browse button and confirmed what I had long suspected.

Under India > Women looking for men > Karnataka , the total number of profiles is 573. Under India > men looking for women > Karnataka , the number is more than 30,000. That’s about as bad as gender ratios can be imbalanced. One woman for every 70 men.

Now what this means is that on an average a woman on the site receives so many messages that she doesn’t know which ones to respond to. The average for a woman in the 40’s seems to be 10 per day. Compare this with 2 that I receive every three months !! Now, is there a way for men to get more responses ? I asked one of my women friends from IFF, how she had selected to reply to me from the million other hopefuls. Her answer: the educational qualification I had used was un-usual. Not too much of an ego-boost for me, that.

Any other mantras for success ? Well, if I knew, would I be writing blogs, or would I be meeting all those interesting “broad minded” profiles!! Needless to say, if there is anyone out there who has developed a “system” and is willing to share, I would be most grateful.

The Great Sexs ratio debacle

This piece is from my experience on another site.This afternoon I used the browse button and confirmed what I had long suspected.

Under India > Women looking for men > Karnataka , the total number of profiles is 573. Under India > men looking for women > Karnataka , the number is more than 30,000. That’s about as bad as gender ratios can be imbalanced. One woman for every 70 men.

Now what this means is that on an average a woman on the site receives so many messages that she doesn’t know which ones to respond to. The average for a woman in the 40’s seems to be 10 per day. Compare this with 2 that I receive every three months !! Now, is there a way for men to get more responses ? I asked one of my women friends from IFF, how she had selected to reply to me from the million other hopefuls. Her answer: the educational qualification I had used was un-usual. Not too much of an ego-boost for me, that.

Any other mantras for success ? Well, if I knew, would I be writing blogs, or would I be meeting all those interesting “broad minded” profiles!! Needless to say, if there is anyone out there who has developed a “system” and is willing to share, I would be most grateful.

What are you looking for ?

Of all the questions on chat, the most dreaded and intractable is “What are you looking for ?” It took me sometime to fully understand the question, but in the meanwhile and afterwards, using a combination of luck, logic, style, wit and desperation, I have tried the following answers. The usual likely, and in some cases actual, reactions from the women (who asked the question) are also mentioned in brackets.

· Decent, ever lasting friendship. (Is this guy mad ?or gay? Or impotent? Or all three ?) · Nothing in particular, just looking around. (Well that’s fine, maybe we can chat)

· The meaning of life and everlasting happiness (Well wise guy, you can look on your own and you should be in the Himalayas, not on chat)

· Meaning of life, everlasting happiness, a new pair of shoes and .. ( Haha, this guy has some wit. Might be worth talking to.)

· Looking to get laid (Several different responses here. 1. User logs off /puts you on ignore. 2. Ok, your place or mine? 3. I did not know you were THAT kind of a man) · Wild, passionate, no-holds barred, head banging sex. (Hahaha, surely you are joking)

· I am looking for an investment opportunity in real estate in Bangalore east. Since results were mixed, weighing a bit on the side of negative, I researched a bit and I thought I had come up with some good lines:

· I am looking for a woman who will give me the winning combination of numbers for the next week’s Lotto (Note: It didn’t work. Too many people had to be explained what this meant. Took the zing out.)

· I am not looking for what you think I am looking. But that didn’t work either.

So I sought advice from a friend. And here was some wisdom at last. She said when women ask that question, they are basically slotting you in one of 2 categories. Is he looking just for sex right away or Is he looking for friendship leading to sex. There is no third category. Well she was mostly right, but I still did not have a good answer. So if you have one , or have heard one , please DO send it to me.

And finally, I tried to put on my profile under “Dislikes”: People who want to know what I am looking for. But do you think anyone EVER reads profiles?

Bollywood Nostalgia

One of my favourite activities is channel surfing. Anthropologists tell me that this comes from the time when men constantly scanned their surroundings for suitable prey. My wife tells me that I am crazy. Obviously she doesnt have anthropologists as close friends: anyway.. back to surfing.

One evening, while surfing, I chanced upon the dying moments of the old bollywood film Waqt (Balraj Sahni, Rajkumar, Sunil Dutt and Shashi Kapoor). It is a courtroom scene. Sunil Dutt , playing a lawyer is hamming it like hamming was going out of fashion. His piece-de-resistance has been conceived by the script-writer with an expectation of winning several awards. It consists of demonstrating that if u drag a dead man you are not likely to get your shoes soaked in blood. Hercule Poirot, Sherlock Holmes , Miss Marple and their ilk are turning over in their collective and fictional graves. The scene is delivered with all the finesse of a wrestling match and (assumed) brilliance which only Punjabi directors (in this case Yash Chopra) in bollywood can manage without feeling guilty. (did I hear someone gnashing their teeth ?).

The atmosphere is thick with urdu-persian dialog (is case ke’ saare’ gawahon aur bayanaat ko madde’ nazar rakhte huey ..Etc etc) . I think they used to secretly keep ready-made dialogue in bollywood so that anyone who wanted court-room dialogue would not have to take too much trouble in writing it all over again. A good example of community working.

The point is I have seen the movie in a theatre, and twice again on TV and I know the whodunit , the denouement. And yet I keep watching. Sunil Dutt (looking young). Shashi kapoor almost adolescent, grinning like a toothpaste advert. Sharmila Tagore looks barely out of her teens, complete with her trademark hairdo. This is not a movie that I am seeing. It is a slice of my own life that is replaying. In spite of the cliché’d lines and melodrama, there is , an innocence in the scenes. I keep watching as the drama unfolds in the last few scenes. It is revealed to the audience AND the actors that Sunil Duttt, Rajkumar and Shashi are long lost brothers. The moment is full of poignancy. I have lived though it thrice before, but my eyes are still wet.

Rating: Two and a and a half stars for direction/ story / acting. Four for nostalgia.

Size 36 ?

Have you ever noticed how men’s pants come only in even numbered waist-inch sizes ? So you have a 34 and a 36 but no 35. My waist size is 35 and I am forever struggling between 34 and 36. The 36 size pants are too baggy and loose and one has to wear a belt. But that bunches up the waist band and it doesn’t look quite neat. Also, there is no point in sweating it out at the gym if one has to wear baggy pants. The 34, as can be expected are a trifle tight. I always have the nagging fear that they will tear at the wrong moment. Also this size is also tight on the butt and the seam of the innerwear gets displayed rather publicly. Plus I feel like an ageing and unfit Bollywood or Tamil hero, desperately trying to keep the tummy in check by wearing a tight trouser.

But the point is, do Indian ready-made garment manufacturers expect men to grow (or shrink) in jumps of 2 inches ? Hey, what do u know, when I slept last night my waist size was 34 and this morning its 36. Yippee !! There is always of course the option of having the waist ‘altered’, but then the fit never comes right. And it’s no longer a readymade, right? So whats the way out for “odd” people like me. In the US of A (where else, but) they have sizes like 35 and 37, but I travel there once in 10 years, so that’s not a practical option.

What works for me though is something rather interesting and maybe uniquely Indian. Not all 34 ‘s are 34. Some are almost 35. (And not all 36’s are 36 ,some are more silicone !!). I am not joking, Try out a few different brands and you soon find that each manufacturer uses the size almost as a product differentiation feature. Sometimes the variations can be within the same brand.

So it takes a bit of time and struggling in cramped trial rooms with half a dozen pants , but I usually get a pair that fits. (Ever wonder why its called a trial room ? Well try four trousers one after the other, and you will notice what a trial it is). End-piece: Once in the USA I tried a size 36 and was floating in it. Then I tried 34 and it was still too loose. Moral of the story : in the USA , I am a smaller man !!

Is it for real.. ?

This one is a bit abstract. It’s written not so much to share what I know, but more to clarify my own thinking and comments are very welcome The question is what is reality? Is it subjective ? Is there anything like objective reality?

For many years a flat earth with the sun revolving around it was “objective’ reality, till someone turned it into an objective falsehood. Closer in time was the objective reality that time was a constant and then along came Einstein and he destroyed that idea.

But even if we look at a more day-to-day level, the picture can be quite confusing. We often say, lets look at this objectively. The idea is to “see” and express reality without a personal view point. One could say 2 plus 2 = 4 is an objective reality. Or a cube has six identical square surfaces and eight equal straight edges. Or that the colours in the USA flag are white, blue and red. Now indulge my foolishness and fancy a bit, and let me take this thinking to an extreme.

What we are actually saying is that everyone who is human will perceive the cube or the colours similarly. But what if cows had the ability to communicate with us? Now we know that cows can’t distinguish between red and brown. So when a cow saw the US flag would its reality of colours be the same as ours ? And where would that put “objective” reality. Then again, the eye structure of cows is different from those of humans. It is reasonable to assume that cows don’t ‘see” shapes , lines and surfaces in same way as humans. So is the reality of a cube still “objective” ?

In summary, when we talk of objective reality, we are talking about identical perception by intelligent organisms with identical sensory apparatus. So , in a sense, reality is dependent on the sensory apparatus of the subject, and thus all reality is only subjective. It is estimated that the known universe has at least a million planets capable of supporting intelligent life of the human variety. But is it necessary that their eye structure will be identical to ours on earth ? Very unlikely, and that is a big setback for “objective” reality. Is this article leading anywhere. Possibly not , at least not for now.

Mallika Sherawat and the tyranny of taste

The title of the piece comes out rather like “Harry potter and the sorcerer’s stone” etc, but I couldn’t think of a better one. Ms Sherawat actually used that phrase, to my surprise, in an episode of Coffee with Karan. I am writing this because I admire her. I am sure most readers don’t need an introduction to Ms S. In my own case I had heard of her and her famous assets in the media but did not yet recognise her by face. Till one day while watching the Pepsi snake-wala advert (SRK plays Mr Been, snake charmer) , I asked someone who the girl was and was told it was none other than Ms S.

I still haven’t seen her epoch-making and debut(?) movies Murder and Khwahish. In fact I have seen only one movie of hers, “Pyaar Ke Side Effects”. I guess just like many starlets and successful heroines, she must have been compelled to realize early, that in Bollywood, unless you came with a famous second name, the only way for a woman to get ahead was to smooch and bare her body on screen. And she did that, with some success. But that’s where the twist comes in. Once she became successful and sought after, she did not once apologise about baring her skin or smooching. She said it like it was, and all credit to her.

Not for her the coy, cringing response that is almost a stock phrase for many young newcomers (famous second names included) “I will bare if the scene demands it.” And the scene always seems to demand it, even if the woman is playing an office clerk. Then I saw her on some show, perhaps The Big Fight on NDTV. As was expected, the anchor took a dig at her baring her way to the top (or topless). While she was understandably a bit tense, but the brave lass, stood her ground and never once made an excuse. I have seen only one of her movies, and that’s Pyaar ke Side Effects. She did a very competent job there.

But it was while watching the Coffee with Karan show that I heard her use the phrase “the tyranny of taste” and I was truly impressed. I am not an anglophile, but I think its better to be an educated Sherawat than an uneducated bimbette even if you have a famous second name. And so it came to me as no surprise that Ms S is a graduate of the well known college Miranda House in Delhi. Two famous alumni are film-maker Mira Nair and political activist Brinda Karat. May the force be with you, Ms S !!

Ancient Indian History.. some mysteries..

I am sure all of us have gone through at least one lesson in school about the Indus valley Civilisation (IVC)/ Mohan Jo Daro. As a student of the fifth or sixth standard in school and even several years later, I used to always wonder why each and every article on the civilisation invariably mentioned the “underground drainage” system. The reason became clear as I grew up to my late teens. Considering that even now, some 5000 years later most Indian cities (including large parts of metro cities like Delhi, Mumbai, Chennai , Bangalore etc) don’t have a proper sewerage system, and many cities don’t have one at all, it was indeed a very very remarkable achievement. I am sure that none of the other contemporaries to the Indus valley civilisation had anything like it.

But the sewerage system is not the main idea behind this post. I would like to share some interesting bits of information from ancient Indian history. None of it is new or original, except perhaps that it is not widely known. Here it is.

o The people of the IVC were not Hindus. That is, they did not follow the religion we now recognise as Hinduism. The civilisation is dated from 2500 BC to 1600 BC.Hinduism (sometimes called Vedic Hinduism) came in a rough form to India through the Aryan migration from central Asia, present day Iran, also referred to as Persia. This happened around 2000 BC to 1600 BC, So the Aryan migration happened close to the time the IVC was dwindling. Perhaps, quite likely, the Aryan migration was the final cause of its destruction. So what was the religion they followed ? We will never know for sure, partly because the world was yet too young to have organised religion and partly because the IVC script has not been yet deciphered.

o This point is going to cause a bit of controversy. The Aryans came to India from Central Asia around 2000 BC to 1600 BC. They carried with them the beginnings of a religion that was to later become Vedic Hinduism. Over a few centuries this proto-religion was formalized and became Vedic Hinduism. The Rig-Veda was written around 1000 BC, so we can say that around the same time Vedic Hinduism was fully developed. Now, the Aryans who were stayed behind in Persia went to on to form a religion of their own around 600 BC. This was Zoroastrianism named after the founder Zoroaster. The more familiar name in India is the Parsi religion, followed by Parsis in India . (Parsi from Paras, the Indian name for Persia) . Here is the twist. In later times Persia was invaded by Kings who followed the Islamic faith. Over a period of a few centuries a majority of the Persians adopted Islam . So, here we are in a very unusual situation. The ancestors of the founders of Vedic Hinduism and the ancestors of today’s Iranian Muslims were the same. A historical case of Hindu-Muslim bhai bhai, that some of our political parties would rather ignore.

o The caste system is not a wholly Indian/ Vedic invention. It came with the proto-religion from Persia.

There is some more, but I don’t want to make this post too long, and will deal with it in a separate piece.

Bheja Fry Movie review

For a start Bheja in mumbai-speak means Brain,, and bheja fry (fried goats' brain) is a popular dish in many irani retaurants in mumbai... while that may sound gory to some, bheja fry has another meaning..it means a brain/ mind that is addled by confusion or harassment.

well the movie has no big names, no giga watts of music power, no foreign locales, no item numbers, no pithy persian laced dialogue and barely one song. but it entertains and how !!its humorous , to say the least. i wont give away the story, but i think its a stroke of genius to take an everyday situation and make it into an entertaining movie.

the pluses of the movie> great acting specially by vinay pathak and also by kapoor and soman> very good dialog... its the language you and i speak everyday... > great editing.. no superfluous scenes the only flaw i found was that ranvir shorey was wasted in the small part. this guy is also very good and could have had a bigger role.

and this is one movie where u cant have two separate experiences before and after the interval. it probably doesnt have AN INTERVAL.

my money is on vinay pathak and the director for winning several awards. dont miss it......

The perfect toothbrush.. I have nearly found it.

(Before the main event, let me share a smaller useful info-bit. If you are looking for a good nail-clipper go for the brand “Bell”. The larger size, which I recommend should be about Rs 50/-. It’s Made in Korea and works wonderfully well. I think you can find it in most large stores.)

I wonder is any of you have noticed that toothbrushes don’t last very long these days. For me a new toothbrush used to be a major event in childhood. And now I was throwing away toothbrushes almost every month. So, not happy with this I decided to look for the perfect toothbrush or at least a better one. I asked friends traveling abroad to get me toothbrushes from the US and Germany, both countries reputed to make stuff that is “built to last”. I tried every toothbrush that was advertised. Some of the more memorable ones (the advertisements, not the toothbrushes).

o Flexihead: The advertisement shows a toothbrush head/ bristles pressed against a tomato and the flexihead does not leave a dent on the tomato skin. The head of the toothbrush is connected to the handle though a zigzag plastic. It is supposed to make the toothbrush flexible and therefore does not damage the gums. That was true. Unfortunately while brushing, the damned thing almost doubled over so that in order to keep the bristles in my mouth while brushing, I had to hold it by the head. This meant that three of my fingers were inside my mouth. I did not buy it again.

o The indicator toothbrush. It has a row of blue coloured bristles. When the colour disappears , it is time to get a new one. I admit it did help in deciding when to throw it away, but that was about every three weeks.

o Cross angled bristles: This high end one from Oral B has a few tufts of bristles at an angle to the main set. Is supposed to provide a brushing action superior to its lesser brethren. (daanton aur masoodon ke’ kone’ kone’ mein safaai karta hai). An iconic product from the great American Marketing Machine.

o The Ferrari toothbrush. Precisely angled so that it moves easily in your mouth. Proved to be no better than an Ambassador Mark IV.

And so it has gone on. I haven’t yet discovered the perfect toothbrush, but I have found a working solution. I use the brand Jordan. Its about Rs 20/-, cleans well, handles well and lasts about 2 months. Its often not seen in general stores so one must buy it from medical stores.

The English in South

This is not about the 19th century exploits of Englishmen in the southern India. It’s a very short bit about some unusual ways in which the English language is used in South India. I am from the north and I live in the south (and I just love it here). Herewith

· Cool drinks: referred to as cold drinks in other parts of the world. · Cooling glasses: It’s not something, which holds a chilled drink. Its for dark-glasses.

· Co-brother: This has been written about by many people before. But its very apt and very south. For those who don’t know what a Co-brother is: if there are two men married to 2 sisters, then the men are co-brothers. Similarly 2 women, married to 2 brothers are co-sisters. Burt what happens when 2 brothers marry 2 sisters? Anybody’s guess, but certainly a co-mess.

· Own Brother: Since we often have extended / joint families, this “own” is to distinguish from a cousin. The north Indian equivalent is “sagga” bhai as opposed to just bhai. · Petrol bunk: Called petrol pump in the north.

· Tumbler: Another very apt word. A tumbler as opposed to a “glass” is made of metal, usually steel. A “glass’ (of the north Indian variety) may not be always made of glass. Also a tumbler often does not have a flat base, causing it to literally tumble, and hence the reason for using the word I suppose. The tumbler runneth over ! The closest in the north would be a “Lota” which is also the exact and literal translation of tumbler.

· Plantain: This is the southern equivalent for a banana. I have never understood why they use plantain and what IS the difference. So I checked and here are some answers from the Internet. A plantain (according to an American website) has a thicker skin, has more starch, is larger than a banana and is generally used for cooking rather than as a fruit. Banana on the other hand is a fruit, sweeter, smaller and not so thick skinned. But is that what my friends in the south mean when they go bananas or plantains ? And what about those chhutku things that are sold everywhere.. Banana-lets ?

Now what I am really hoping is that the people who read this will send in their own selection of similar words/ phrases.