Saturday, October 13, 2007

What are you looking for ?

Of all the questions on chat, the most dreaded and intractable is “What are you looking for ?” It took me sometime to fully understand the question, but in the meanwhile and afterwards, using a combination of luck, logic, style, wit and desperation, I have tried the following answers. The usual likely, and in some cases actual, reactions from the women (who asked the question) are also mentioned in brackets.

· Decent, ever lasting friendship. (Is this guy mad ?or gay? Or impotent? Or all three ?) · Nothing in particular, just looking around. (Well that’s fine, maybe we can chat)

· The meaning of life and everlasting happiness (Well wise guy, you can look on your own and you should be in the Himalayas, not on chat)

· Meaning of life, everlasting happiness, a new pair of shoes and .. ( Haha, this guy has some wit. Might be worth talking to.)

· Looking to get laid (Several different responses here. 1. User logs off /puts you on ignore. 2. Ok, your place or mine? 3. I did not know you were THAT kind of a man) · Wild, passionate, no-holds barred, head banging sex. (Hahaha, surely you are joking)

· I am looking for an investment opportunity in real estate in Bangalore east. Since results were mixed, weighing a bit on the side of negative, I researched a bit and I thought I had come up with some good lines:

· I am looking for a woman who will give me the winning combination of numbers for the next week’s Lotto (Note: It didn’t work. Too many people had to be explained what this meant. Took the zing out.)

· I am not looking for what you think I am looking. But that didn’t work either.

So I sought advice from a friend. And here was some wisdom at last. She said when women ask that question, they are basically slotting you in one of 2 categories. Is he looking just for sex right away or Is he looking for friendship leading to sex. There is no third category. Well she was mostly right, but I still did not have a good answer. So if you have one , or have heard one , please DO send it to me.

And finally, I tried to put on my profile under “Dislikes”: People who want to know what I am looking for. But do you think anyone EVER reads profiles?

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